


Back Burner

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Humor, Archie is Emotionally Stunted, Asexual Jughead Jones, Bisexual Archie Andrews, But he's a sweetie, Fame, I Don't Even Know, I love her and so should all of you, Jughead writes like a 15 year old emo girl, Sad Jughead, Sassy Jughead, Seriously Valerie is awesome, So is Archie actually, Valerie is Awesome, i know because i channeled my 15 year old emo girl to write his style, josie and the pussycats - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 22:13:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10931070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: Jughead really needed to learn to keep his sarcasm to himself because people took it way too seriously. The media has of course gotten wind of Val and Archie getting close, and to Jughead’s intense surprise they also thought he was too close with Val. So when some idiot reporter ambushed him about it he gave a scathing comment on how neither he nor Archie were cheating on each other with Val, they were clearly a cute polyamorous couple.





	Back Burner

Jughead sits in front of his computer in Pop’s sighing. It’s been years since he’s been back in his hometown and he didn’t miss it whatsoever, but Archie had wanted to go back for some god-awful reason and like always Jughead was right there with him.

_Post: Monday, 2:17 p.m_

_Thank God For Hometowns_

_I hope you all realize by now that this title is obviously not how I really feel. I hate my hometown and truthfully I always have, but it was the murder of Jason Blossom that pushed me over the edge. For those of you that are new to my blog you won’t have heard the tale but fret not, a simple Google search would give you the answers you’re looking for. But to make things short and sweet Jason Blossom, darling son of the richest family in town, was mysteriously murdered twelve years ago. After a lengthy search for his murderer things came to a head with two people going down for it: Jason Blossom’s own father and FP Jones. FP Jones is my father, and despite being extorted for his services as a gang member who was a far more likely suspect than Clifford Blossom he was still convicted of several crimes. Crimes he committed, but given the circumstances I had foolishly hopped for a lesser sentence. Sadly teenage me was naïve._

_This is the first time I have been back in Riverdale since I left two years after I left high school and I haven’t been looking forward to it. Archie, though, has never had abundantly bad experiences with this god-forsaken town though so I have returned with him once again. High school reunion. I have no interest in the event of course, but as the dutiful boyfriend of the famous singer I have a duty to follow him around. He gave me the option of staying behind because he’s Archie, but I had to get over my anger at the town some time._

_There’s no time like the present, right? Wish me luck- JJ_

Archie slides into the spot beside him and places a hand on his thigh, “you okay?” he asks, looking concerned as always.

He considers lying just so he can leave- he truly hated Riverdale for chewing him up and spitting him out- but Archie already gave him the option to back out. It would be unfair to make a fuss about it now. “I’ll be okay,” he says, navigating the space in between the truth and a lie. He’d never get over what Riverdale has done to him, but once he left he could forget about it for awhile.

“You sure?” Archie asks, eyebrows climbing in worry.

Jughead closes the lid of his laptop, “yeah, Archie, I’m sure. Please tell me I don’t have to sleep on your dad’s couch like I did in high school,” he says, attempting to make a joke.

It falls flat but Archie still laughs a little, “I told him about the asexual thing so I think he might let you sleep in my bed,” Archie says.

“If anyone is sleeping on the couch it’s you, I was homeless for three years,” Jughead says and Archie snorts.

“Okay, I sleep on a tour bus for most of the year so I sort of know how you feel,” he says, smiling just a bit.

Jughead pretends to think about it and shakes his head, “nope, not even close to the same Arch. I get the bed,” he says. Archie puts up a bit of a fight after that but he relents eventually because Jughead genuinely had a terrible time sleeping anywhere but a bed- too many bad memories- and Archie could sleep on nails and wake up refreshed.

*

“Your room hasn’t changed at _all_ ,” Jughead says, looking around Archie’s room. “I’s like you died and your father left your room alone as some kind of shrine to you.”

Archie laughs and shakes his head, “might as well have given that I left for LA with you,” he points out.

Jughead snorts, “ _I_ left with _you_ , Arch. Then you hit it big and I got to ride your coat tails for a little while,” he says.

Archie’s eyebrows draw together at that and he frowns. “Wait, _I_ hit it big first? That isn’t true, your book was published way before I got a record deal. Like two years before I got a record deal,” he says.

“But it didn’t get popular until your name was attached to mine. I can’t believe pop music made me popular,” he says, shaking his head. Archie as a teen wrote depressing songs that used to make Jughead want to slit his wrists as beautiful as they were, but as an adult he was far more versatile. Most of what he wrote was pop music rather than slow songs now and they were widely popular. Jughead had been amused when he first broke- unsurprisingly attached to a pop song- and people complained about him ‘selling out’. Jughead’s response had been one of the first things that made his name well known outside of being fucking weird. Then came the success of his long ago published book, much to his surprise.

“Jughead, that was a coincidence. I called you JJ for like a year and a half before I actually told anyone your real name. Your book must have found the right person and they must have told people about it, that had nothing to do with me,” Archie tells him, eyes all earnest and meaningful. It was amazing how Archie had aged ten years and still didn’t believe that people were inherently bad even with all his crazy fans. Jughead has lived far too jaded a life to think humanity was inherently good or inherently bad. Humanity was more neutral and that was the problem- neutral meant that people didn’t get involved in injustice when they should.

Archie was something of an exception to this general rule. He was always involved in what was good and right even if he was often way off base most of the time. “Remember when people thought I was a girl?” he asks. That had been amusing because Archie had been using gender neutral pronouns to describe him until nearly every last outlet reporting on his music assumed ‘JJ’ was a girl. Then he finally got annoyed in the middle of an interview and informed the world that JJ stood for Jughead Jones. Who also happened to be a dude.

Archie nods, “I didn’t even notice it at first but then people kept saying it and then I was really confused because I never actually gave you a gender because I didn’t want to drag you into my fame and then it got annoying. So um… sorry about that,” Archie says five years too late. Jughead laughs though because it’s so Archie to do something like this.

“Whatever, you defend me to people who try and insult me, that’s all I care about,” he says. When people found out Archie was dating someone that hadn’t been fun- his sexual availability was one of the easiest ways to sell his music to several different markets, but when people found out Jughead was asexual and just a little disgusted and confused by sex it was worse. _Way_ worse. He thought people in high school treated him like shit because he was homeless and not as good at he thought he was at hiding it but having millions of people literally call him a _waste_ was definitely worse.

“Of course I do Jug, people are _cruel_ about our relationship and I just don’t get it,” Archie says, shaking his head. Of course he didn’t, he wasn’t the waste here. Jughead knew quite well what people thought of those that weren’t interested in sex. He’s been called everything from a prude to an automaton that couldn’t possibly be human. Archie though, he’s never had to deal with any of the feeling Jughead had and even if he had he’s freakishly optimistic. He’d fair fine.

“Of course they don’t, not in a world that measures things in ‘better than sex’ and ‘orgasmic’ and other sex related things. Even you admit that sex isn’t the best thing ever and you actually like it,” he says. He preferred cats to anything sexual because cats usually refrained from all that weird grunting and all those bodily fluids. Archie had a preference for music and writing and that suited Jughead just fine, and when it didn’t suit Archie he didn’t care what Archie did. People didn’t understand that either when they found out. Jughead hadn’t been happy when some tenacious young reporter who thought she had a rather sleazy story about Archie and his affairs hunted him down. She didn’t and he told her that, but to avoid her printing her story anyways he gave out his own testimony.

Archie’s agent had been pissed but Jughead pointed out that pesky availability problem had technically been solved- Archie was almost like forbidden fruit now. He was taken, but available and who wouldn’t want to be Archie’s lucky next affair? And then came the claims that Archie didn’t really love him, he wouldn’t ‘cheat’ on Jughead of he did, or the assumptions that their open relationship was due to Archie obviously not being fulfilled in a sexless relationship. Truthfully Jughead mostly believed that second argument but he’d never tell Archie that. He’d get a lot of reassurance that he wouldn’t really believe and he didn’t want to waste Archie’s time or his own.

Even now Archie was giving him a sympathetic look that Jughead thinks Archie thinks will help but it does the opposite. “That isn’t what they mean, Jughead,” Archie says entirely unhelpfully.

“That’s exactly what they mean, Archie. Why say something is better than sex if you want to compare a good thing to something else? Then people would use the phrase ‘its better than petting kittens!’ But don’t worry about me Archie, it’s fine,” he says. Mostly because against all odds Archie stood by him when he didn’t need to. He’d been worried that Archie would run off in his famous new life; leave him behind like he had in high school. He hadn’t though and Jughead had been left embarrassed that high school shaped his life so much.

Archie continues to look worried but he leaves Jughead be for now because he knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

*

Jughead was not at all surprised to find Betty and Veronica had gotten together after high school, they had always been B&V, forged forever. They had drifted apart for some time according to Veronica but they had been brought back together at a Josie and the Pussycats concert by chance. Jughead seriously couldn’t believe that _four_ people from his high school managed to make it big in music. That was… rare.

“So you’re a writer now?” Betty asks out of the sheer need to be pleasant.

“We dated for an awkward year in high school, Betty, and I’m not harboring any weird feelings towards you or anything just so you know,” he says to stave off any worries. This gets him an odd look but he expected that. “Someone had to say it,” he says, shrugging, “but yes I’m a writer now. Sort of. I write things whenever I get the opportunity to.” Which was all the time but writing wasn’t an easy job. It took time, effort, and inspiration and those things weren’t easy to find sometimes. It also didn’t help that his latest project was somewhat reactionary and it was slow going. Writing about dating a famous singer while asexual and having to deal with the reactions to that wasn’t as easy as dropping sentences onto paper. And worse, he had no idea if there was even a market for the project. He’d _really_ have to rely on people being interested in Archie to sell it and that wasn’t something he was entirely comfortable with.

“Your writing is good,” Veronica says, “you have a knack for investigative journalism when you make the effort.”

That wasn’t the first time he’s heard that and he doubted it was the last. Jason Blossom’s murder was the beginning of that for him and if he was honest this was the only thing he was good at- figuring out mysteries and writing them down. Archie liked to claim he was good at other things but Jughead had his doubts. “Thanks. For the most part I tend to stick to scathing articles about scathing articles written about Archie. Very meta,” he says, waving a hand around awkwardly.

“To be fair you’re good at it,” Archie says, appearing on the scene with a beautiful and vaguely familiar girl.

“Thanks but the real material comes from the idiots who think they know things about you and providing irrefutable proof that they’re wrong in articles is amusing to me,” he says, smiling just a bit. He remembered the first time someone wrote something about Archie that was both untrue and downright nasty- Archie had called him flipping out and probably on the verge of tears even if he was holding it in well and he couldn’t just _leave_ it. So he found the article and got intimate with it before he published a response that was instantly popular amongst the fans due to the fact that it was undeniably true and it painted Archie in a good light. They probably should have known who Archie’s ‘JJ’ was then but no one would ever claim that people were _smart_. A few must have guessed but it was never much of a theory until after Archie confirmed his identity.

The vaguely familiar girl smiles at him, “you’re talented at what you do,” she says, “one articles saved Josie and the Pussycats from certain industry death, actually.”

Jughead raises an eyebrow because this was news to him, “when?” he asks out of sheer curiosity.

“Shortly after our first single. Jose is… well she’s Jose and people didn’t like her attitude much and you were the one who pointed out how hypocritical it was to dislike Jose for being pushy when white male stars get away with being _way_ more pushy than she ever gets. I think you used Christian Bale’s famous freak out as an example for your case. Anyways, people listened and people still kind of hate Jose for standing up for herself but that article at least gave us enough ground to stand on that we could move forward,” she says and her identity suddenly becomes clear to him.

Valarie Brown, a girl that Jughead vaguely remembered Archie dating in high school who was a member of Jose and the Pussycats. Huh, he didn’t expect the Pussycats to show up. Archie barely had a break in his schedule and they were more popular than he was at any given time due to having three people writing albums instead of one.

“Well in your defense I don’t even know what you’re talking about so I’m pretty sure I had nothing to do with your success. Congrats though, your music is surprisingly appealing to me. That sounded bad- I usually don’t like pop music but you guys manage to make the songs both meaningful _and_ catchy. It’s a talent,” he says, wishing the ground would swallow him whole at this point.

Thankfully Val doesn’t seem to take offense, “Jose has strict rules on our sound and what we write so you can thank her for that,” she tells him.

“And don’t sell yourself short Jughead, I think Val knows more about her success than you do and if she said you helped you helped,” Archie throws in, looking concerned as always.

“We got by just fine on our talent, but you had already written a book and a few articles that set the record straight for Archie. People knew who you were and the fact that you defended a band that was just managing to claw its way up to the top was pretty big. Everything after that was totally us though,” Val says, smiling at her own somewhat bad joke but Jughead smiles too. It was more confortable for him when people at least let him have his bit of self-depreciation without making it weird like Archie did. He did it out of loyalty and concern but it still didn’t do much for Jughead regardless of how much Archie tried.

“Well congrats to all of you! I can’t believe I know _four_ people who managed to make it big in the music industry,” Betty says, injecting herself and Veronica back into the discussion. They continue to talk and Jughead mostly zones out until he notices Archie attempting nonverbal communication in a totally obvious way but he likely didn’t think so. Archie’s cluelessness was all part of the Andrews charm and as much as Jughead sometimes wanted to smack some sense into him he mostly loved how completely ridiculous Archie was.

He recognizes the look right away and raises an eyebrow at Archie, who shrugs just a little. This was his way of asking Jughead if he could go hookup with someone and he truly didn’t care what Archie and his penis got up to as long as it didn’t involve him. It was a small solace that Archie took the time to ask when he was around though because it was probably the one thing that Jughead truly did appreciate Archie doing to make him feel better. While he didn’t generally care if Archie slept around he couldn’t help but get nervous due to the reactions of the people around them. He had no feelings towards sex himself, but everyone else acted like he should care and that if he- and more importantly _Archie_ \- didn’t care than there was something wrong with them. And mostly Jughead at that. Archie got most of the benefits of being ‘normal’ while Jughead was a broken freak that should have just sucked his issues up to please Archie so he didn’t _have_ to go anywhere else to get his rocks off.

In Archie’s defense whenever anyone made a comment like that in his general vicinity he went out of his way, sometimes pretty _far_ out of his way, to set the record straight. Jughead had hardly expected Archie to somehow end up the most well known asexual advocate in celebrity culture. He didn’t mind because he was pretty good at asking Jughead for information and clarification before he said something stupid. He also appreciated Archie explaining in sometimes pretty painful detail how to love someone in ways that didn’t involve sex or monogamy as people knew it. Archie’s advocacy was also somewhat soothing to Jughead’s anxieties because it meant he cared enough to say something about the way people talked about Jughead and their relationship.

Jughead eventually makes his excuses and begs off, making his way back to Archie’s dad’s place because he had little interest in remaining at the high school reunion. Besides, people were exhausting to him and he has had more than his fill. Archie, he knew, was far more extroverted than he was so he figured he’d leave Archie to do his thing without having to check in with Jughead every ten minutes because Archie Andrews was just too kind of a person for his own good.

*

_Post: Tuesday 2:31 a.m_

_Thank God For Hometowns 2_

_The reunion went about as well as expected. People didn’t look at me much thankfully, at least until Archie was around but that’s nothing new. That’s the kind of attention I can handle. The saving grace is that Archie has always been more interesting than me and without a potentially murderous father and a gang around me people tend to think I matter a lot less._

_How exciting- JJ_

*

Archie comes in doing the walk of shame sometime in the mid morning, earning a suspicious look from his father but Jughead leaves it be in favor of attacking his cereal. Fred Andrews has never been fond of Jughead and even less so of his father, even if he had good reason to dislike FP, so Jughead is grateful for Archie’s return.

“Oh man, I was hoping I’d catch you before breakfast. I figured maybe you’d want to grab breakfast at Pop’s,” Archie says to Jughead specifically.

He looks down at his almost finished cereal and back to Archie, “when have you known me to turn down food?” he asks, smiling at him. It’s his way of letting Archie know that whatever it was he did last night Jughead didn’t care about it. Fred looks confused as to what he just witnessed and in his defense he wasn’t the only one who had no idea what to make of his relationship with Archie. A good portion of the world was confused too.

*

_Post: Tuesday, 3:34 p.m_

_No Hell More Harsh Than a Memory_

_Pop’s has always been something of a center to Riverdale. Pop’s is where people go when they feel sad, angry, in love, out of love, or whatever other emotion they might want to drown in a milkshake. I’ve spent a good amount of my time in here writing- this is where I wrote about Jason Blossom’s death. It’s where I wrote a scathing article about Riverdale’s inability to do anything without finding a scapegoat- my father at the time. And this is where I wrote that first article about Archie’s success. I have a lot of memories here, most of them pleasant even. It’s the one place in Riverdale that doesn’t make me want to leave immediately because it’s probably the one place I felt at home regardless of what was going on around me._

_It’s not surprising that Archie would take me here of all places in an attempt to cheer me up, it’s the only place he_ could _go to do that in this god forsaken town. Unless he wanted to go to the wrong side of the tracks but Archie Andrews is from the right side of town, I’m the one who doesn’t belong here._

_But two things happened today that I didn’t expect. One, I had a surprisingly long conversation with Archie’s one night stand from the night before. And Two, I ran into none other than Cheryl Blossom. I’m not even sure which one of those things would count as juicier gossip so I’ll go in the order they happened._

_Archie knows his bounds, usually, so I was more than a little surprised to find that of all the people he could have picked up he picked up his_ ex _. Juicier gossip than you were expecting? No worries, you’ll get the rest soon. Archie had to take some phone call, likely from his agent but you all know by now that I don’t pay attention to that kind of thing. While he was out Val slipped into the seat across from me and struck up what I would have labeled an odd conversation considering we’ve only ever spoken once and that was the night before. When I looked out the window to find Archie giving me a guilty ‘oh shit’ look I clued in._

_My first instinct was to be mad but Val wasn’t the target I was angry at so I left it for Archie. I was also curious about Val anyways- she and Archie dated briefly in high school and I figured I knew what drew them back together. I guess what I wanted to do was see if she was a threat to my relationship. Val had other ideas though and in less than ten minutes I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breath._

_As it turned out Val and I have a lot in common. We both love literature, writing, we both have a strong dislike of fame despite being smack dab in the middle of it, and we both appreciate the fame even if we dislike the repercussions. Our fans are what make us successful and as much as we resent our lives on full display for everyone to gawk at and pick apart we also know that some of those people are only looking to appreciate. Thanks to those people, by the way, because we do appreciate you._

_By the time Archie returned from his call Val and I were in a deep discussion about the state of journalism and the look on his face had been pretty priceless. I’m not sure what you guys know about the exact state of our relationship, what our agreements look like, but the agreement goes both ways. If I wanted I could go off and sleep with whomever I wanted but being of the sex repulsed asexual variety that’s never been something I’ve never been interested in but Archie insisted. I think he thought it’d even things out between us. It doesn’t but it made Archie feel better. I mention this, though, because Archie must have sensed something between Val and I that I didn’t because he looked put off. I know Archie well and he was uncomfortable._

_I shouldn’t, but I feel vindicated. Now he knows how I felt even if I’m completely lost on why he looked so uncomfortable._

_Eventually Val left after giving me a few book suggestions and Archie had looked ready to say something before his eyes got wide and his face got pale. Other than seeing Clifford Blossom’s ghost there was only one other option._

_Cheryl Blossom appeared beside us and gave Archie a_ look _but he didn’t move. Brave man considering she once burned down her parent’s house because she felt like it. She told him to move and after a brief glance at me I nodded. So he got up and left, looking back at me all the while._

_She sat down across from me looking sad and maybe even a little guilty. For reference the last time I saw Cheryl Blossom she punched the crap out of me because she thought my father murdered her brother. I let her because in that moment I hated me more than she did and I felt like I deserved it. Sins of the father and all that. Imagine my surprise when she apologized to me, saying that she never should have went after me like that because even if my father had killed her brother that had nothing to do with me. I was the one leading the investigation after all- if I knew my father was guilty would I have been so tenacious in brining Jason Blossom’s murderer to justice? She thought not._

_I’ve always had a rocky relationship with my father, especially during those years, so she wasn’t exactly right in saying I wouldn’t have gone after my dad but she didn’t need to know that._

_In the background Archie hovered looking worried as always, enough that even Cheryl noticed despite having her back to him. But an apology was all she wanted to give, and a thanks for telling Jason’s story. It was one of the only stories, I guess, that didn’t focus on the whole accidental incest thing and his being a drug dealer. Both of those themes were touched on in my story but both of those things were different stories altogether- neither of them belonged in a murder mystery but people can’t resist the sensationalism._

_The state of journalism is sad- JJ_

*

Archie has never really thought of what Jughead dealt with in their relationship. Well, he _has_ , but without practical experience it was hard to know how it really felt to be in his situation. Val had been an obvious choice at the reunion and… well he was being stupid, but he didn’t expect the tables to be turned on him when Val showed up at Pop’s.

To say he and Jughead didn’t have a lot in common was kind of an understatement. They had different tastes in near everything- even fans have pointed out how much they were polar opposites. But Val though, she understood Jughead’s love of reading and especially classics, his thoughts on writing and journalism, and she could make him _laugh_. Making Jughead laugh was hard and Archie rarely managed it, but Val had him laughing for almost an hour straight. Most of her jokes went straight over Archie’s head too.

Occasionally they’d both look to him as if they expected him to say something or join in but he had nothing to say in a conversation he barely understood so he ended up being keenly aware that he didn’t belong there. He wondered if this was how Jughead felt all the time, like the whole world was telling jokes he didn’t understand. He hoped not because it didn’t feel very nice, but it was at least inspirational enough for song writing.

Different artists had different muses and strong emotions were always Archie’s best bet. Most of his songs were about his life, or things that got a strong reaction out of him anyways. One of his more popular songs was about Jughead but he was pretty sure Jughead had no clue _Serpents_ was about him. He had no idea _how_ Jughead could have missed that he was the rough guy with the heart of gold from the wrong side of the tracks but Jughead was oblivious to a lot of things. Most of his fans seemed to think the song was about _Archie_ , which made no sense given that he’s never hidden living a pretty privileged life. Archie has never come from the wrong side of anywhere and there were a lot of days he knew he didn’t have a heart of gold.

Like the three more times Val ran into Jughead and he got stuck once again on the outside of a conversation he had no idea how to enter. Jealously wasn’t pretty and he knew it, but he couldn’t help it. He was left wondering once again if this was something Jughead felt all the time or if Archie was aware enough of how their relationship maybe made him feel that he has been successful in alleviating any worries. Knowing him probably not, Veronica once told him he had the emotional range of a teaspoon and she wasn’t wrong. And he had no idea that was a Harry Potter reference until Jughead told him.

While Jughead and Val laugh he thinks of a melody to the song he was writing.

*

Jughead finds Archie’s song papers all over his father’s house. It was a habit he developed in LA and he’s never managed to break it since then and Fred gets annoyed with it so Jughead does his best to make sure Archie’s mess is mostly contained. The lyrics catch his eye though and he frowns.

_And I wonder if this is how you feel, like the world is letting a joke you don’t understand_

_You talk about life on the outside; not being understood but I’ve never known that life_

_But when the tables turn I’m forced to learn_

He shakes his head because Archie, as usual, had no idea what he’s talking about. His songs were beautiful but Jughead had no idea how he managed to string two words together about things he’s never experienced. Like that one line from _Serpents_ that was something along the lines of ‘ _when I was a kid monsters were under my bed, but as an adult they’re living in my head_ ’ or something similar. It was chillingly familiar to Jughead, but to Archie? He never had monsters living anywhere. Actually the entirety of _Serpents_ was a bunch of stuff Archie has never experienced but put together well.

He’s always surprised by how well Archie managed to pull together concepts that seemed so foreign to him and in such a convincing way. He’s never been the kid from the wrong side of he tracks who was viewed through that narrow idea of a serpent _ever_ but he managed to portray it pretty accurately. The guy in the song felt ignored at best, but ostracized due to the way people chose to see him more often than not and it weighed heavily. Jughead knew the feeling and he was surprised that Archie managed to portray that feeling with any kind of accuracy. He’d been more impressed that that song didn’t end with the lonely kid finding romance and being magically cured, it ended with him leaving his shithole town for something better and never looking back. Props to Archie for not solving problems with romance or sex.

*

In high school Val had briefly dated Archie but she didn’t really expect to reconnect with him again, and even with that she didn’t expect to end up on _tour_ with the guy. When Archie’s agent suggested it to Josie’s Jughead had snorted and sarcastically called it Riverdale’s reunion tour. Val had cringed when both agents jumped on that because it had been a scathing remark, not a real suggestion for a name for the tour. They had wanted to capitalize on that ‘small town kids with big dreams that came true’ angle though so the Pussycats somehow ended up on tour with Archie. Boy had Josie been pissed when their agent suggested doing a few duets with Archie and labeling themselves ‘Archie and the Pussycats’. Thankfully Archie had enough sense to veto that long before Josie got her anger out.

“Doesn’t it bother you to be away from Jughead so often?” she asks one night after a show. She’s tired and she wants to sleep but experience has taught her that she needed to stay up for at least another hour to avoid the worst affects of jetleg.

Archie shrugs, “sure, but I think he prefers it. You know Jug, he’s pretty solitary,” he says. That looks like it bothers Archie but she doesn’t say anything because it isn’t really her business, but she is curious.

“How did you guys even manage to come to an agreement on your uh… relationship,” she asks, not sure how to phrase it.

“I’m curious about that too, actually,” Josie says, appearing out of nowhere. She sits down near Archie, a vast improvement since the beginning of the tour, and looks over at him with a slightly pissed off look on her face. Archie looks put off but that’s just Josie’s face so he didn’t need to worry. It wasn’t her fault she didn’t look naturally happy all the time and part of their whole _thing_ was to subvert expectations. Josie felt no need to constantly smile and look pleasant for everyone else’s benefit so she didn’t. She’s always been more brave than Val has- she’d never be able to put up with the backlash Josie got for having opinions.

“I don’t even remember. I think we were drunk and we made a bet but that was before I found out about him being asexual. Actually I don’t even think _he_ knew about that then. I don’t know when he found a name for it and I have even less of an idea of when he got comfortable with it but… yeah, I don’t know. It just happened and it works for us. Most people think of sleeping with someone else as cheating but it isn’t, not if it’s just that. Relationships are way more than just sex and I think people get those two things confused, sex and emotion. I know I have,” he says.

So they all knew after they found out about that thing Archie’s teacher had with him, Mrs. Groadie or something like that. Val had been impressed with how Archie handled it too given how people treated his experience like some kind of joke or a wet dream. Things got really awkward on that interview he did for… she couldn’t remember who it was now, but they shut up real quick when Archie asked if they usually laughed at pedophiles victims and acted like they enjoyed it. He did go on to say that he really did care about her at the time, but he wasn’t mentally prepared to be in a relationship like that and she was counting on that. It was part of how people like her took advantage of young people to exploit them.

That had led into a discussion of how he ended up learning the hard way that sexual attraction didn’t necessarily mean anything other than that, and that mutual attraction wasn’t always ethical. Sometimes people still brought that up as some kind of argument against the somewhat open relationship he had with Jughead but it rarely happened after both Archie and Jughead pointed out the massive difference between consenting adults agreeing on a relationship type and an adult taking advantage of a child. That, and Jughead wrote one of the most hilarious and scathing articles on the subject Val has ever read. It was essentially three thousand words of Jughead mocking the media. His writing was biting and harsh and it was so refreshing in a world of fluff pieces and meaningless crap.

“Hm. And Jughead is totally fine with all this?” Josie asks, raising her eyebrows.

“As far as I know but he’s not really the ‘hide my feelings’ type. I figure if he has an issue with it he’ll say something,” Archie says.

Somehow Val doubted that.

*

Riverdale Reunion Tour. First of all fuck Archie’s agent for actually thinking that was a good idea, it hadn’t been a name suggestion, it was sarcasm. But no, people these days had no clue what sarcasm was in the industry. That and… and Archie and Val were closer than he’d like them to be. Of course he wasn’t going to say anything to Archie because it was just useless jealousy on his part but it still hurt to see.

Val… she’s everything Archie has ever wanted. They had stuff in common, they were writing _songs_ together now, they both had a weird love of sports, and they knew what the other felt when they were preforming. Jughead didn’t get any of that, had no idea what Archie felt when he wrote, when he preformed, he had no idea what it was Archie was chasing and Val did. And there was the added benefit of her actually being a normal person with normal sexual feelings and a normal sex drive where Jughead was usually vaguely disgusted by anything sex related.

So once again he was stuck on the outside looking in but that’s nothing new.

*

_Post: Friday, 4:41 a.m_

_Riverdale’s Reunion_

_I’m not sure anyone remembers anything about Riverdale from what I wrote in that book but the town was pretty shitty. Why would anyone want to reunite it? Ugh. The plus side is that Archie sounds wonderful with the Pussycats but I already knew that. The benefits of knowing famous people before they were famous- I’ve already heard them all sing together. Now I guess I get to see it with a bunch of fancy lights and people screaming now._

_If I sound bitter it’s because I am. Riverdale’s Reunion Tour, as in the actual name of the tour, was my idea. Except it was said in a snide sarcastic manner that Archie’s agent somehow thought was a serious suggestion, and then the Pussycat’s agent jumped on it too. You guys should have seen Josie’s face when they suggested briefly renaming the Pussycats Archie and the Pussycats for the tour. If anyone was more bitter about this whole situation than me it’s definitely Josie. We should bond over our annoyance with the bullshit the industry forces down people’s throats. I mean come on, how many times do reporters have to ask Josie to smile before they realize she won’t?_

_Point is Riverdale’s Reunion Tour is a bullshit name I suggested to be a jerk, not as a serious suggestion for the tour’s name. But if you get the chance to buy tickets I’m basically contractually obligated to support Archie in his endeavors so go see him live. And the Pussycats are way better than they were in high school; I have to say I’ve enjoyed what Josie has done with the band. Even the cat ears look less ridiculous now. Sorry Josie, I had to, they just look bizarre._

_Ten bucks says if she was here she’d be side eyeing my stupid crown hat, which is more ridiculous than her ears in her defense._

Val throws back her head and laughs as Josie gives her a grumpy look. “The ears are a gimmick, Josie, and we all know it. Plus jughead’s hat is way more stupid than our ears and even he knows it,” Val points out, gesturing to the line in the blog post that outright stated that.

Josie relents a little and smiles, “I can’t believe he said he was _contractually_ obligated to support Archie,” she says.

“This is why I like Jughead so much, he’s funny and he isn’t afraid to tell it like it is,” Val says. Across the room Archie looks vaguely uncomfortable.

*

Jughead really needed to learn to keep his sarcasm to himself because people took it way too seriously. The media has of course gotten wind of Val and Archie getting close, and to Jughead’s _intense_ surprise they also thought _he_ was too close with Val. So when some idiot reporter ambushed him about it he gave a scathing comment on how neither he nor Archie were cheating on each other with Val, they were clearly a cute polyamorous couple.

The media had gone _wild_ and Archie had gotten _ideas_. The weirdest thing about it all? Jughead was half considering it because that was easier than losing Archie to someone who was flat out better than him in like every single way.

*

This, Archie reasoned, was better than losing Jughead to someone who was outright better for him in every way. Val _understood_ Jughead in a way Archie never could and he’d rather this than lose him entirely. Plus he liked Val- she was smart, a great writer, and she liked sports so he could actually watch them without a lot of complaining. Sometimes a guy just wanted to watch football without someone drawing the parallels between fascism and sports.

*

“You two are talking to each other,” Val tells them both. Jughead is a pixilated head on a screen and Archie looks suddenly uncomfortable but if she was going to get involved with anyone she wasn’t going to be caught in a couple of white dude’s useless angst. That, and Josie told her to tell Archie and Jughead to get their shit together.

“ _Talk_ ,” she tells them. Jughead sighs and goes first and she figured he would be the first to break. Archie was at least somewhat right about him not being they type to hide his feelings, and he’d also get an opinion out of Archie and then they could either put this rumor that Jughead started to rest or do something about the chemistry that even _Josie_ sensed. Usually she was too involved in her work to notice anything outside of that and Val appreciated that most days because of Josie pointed her hyper focus elsewhere she ended up in situations like this where she had to deal with Archie’s angst. And it was always Archie somehow given that the last time Josie pulled her head out of her work was in high school when she was temporarily out of the band thanks to Archie.

Maybe they were just meant to fall back into some kind of relationship together, except this time she had someone she could talk about books with thanks to Jughead.

_One Year Later_

“Look, I didn’t want to publish anything without both of you okaying it, alright?” Jughead tells them. Both Val and Archie featured in the book a _lot_ given that they were a huge part of his experience as someone who was famously, literally, asexual.

Val and Archie look at each other and shrug, “looking forward to reading it,” Val says.

“You didn’t talk about that one time in college, did you?” Archie asks, taking the second manuscript from Jughead. He looks a bit pinched and Jughead laughs.

“I couldn’t leave it out,” he says and Archie sighs, accepting it right away. “I’m joking, Arch. It wasn’t relevant to the story I was telling so I left it out.” Archie looks relieved and Val shakes her head.

“I want to know about this later, but I have practice with the Pussycats and Josie will skin me if I show up late,” she says.

“Oh, there’s a bit on Josie in there too so if you could get her to read it and okay it that’s be sweet of you,” Jughead says to Val. Val raises an eyebrow but she nods and runs off so she could get to her band meeting on time. Archie stands there for a long moment before Jughead raises an eyebrow at him.

“Oh right, I’ll uh… go read this,” he says.

*

Val loves the book, but she expected to. But there was one section in particular that got her because he had _no idea_ that was how Jughead felt.

_Valerie is probably one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, which is half the problem. When you have a life like mine you come to know that good things never last. My relationship with Archie is probably the only exception and when Val hit the scene I was done fore and I knew it._

_She’s smart, a performer, a song writer, and she’s beautiful. More than that she’s_ normal _in a way I never could be. She’s everything that Archie has ever wanted and everything I’ve ever felt threatened by and when she appeared back in Archie’s life I started the countdown._

 _The problem with Val was that I would_ get _it if Archie left me for her. I liked her too- it isn’t like Archie is having stimulating conversation with me about Hamlet. I love him but Shakespeare has never been his thing. But Val loves writing of all kinds, not just song poetry like Archie and I could talk to her for_ hours _about random books and plays. It’s hard to know that even you would leave yourself for your romantic rival because you no longer have a person to blame. I couldn’t blame Val for being a generally awesome and relatable person, and I certainly couldn’t blame Archie for finding someone with a better understanding of him than me._

_Imagine my surprise when none of what I expected to happen happened all due to a sarcastic comment I made to a nosey reporter that had gotten on my nerves._

She never even knew that Jughead felt threatened by her presence because she had been too concerned with not being a real part of their relationship at all. She didn’t want to feel left out of Jughead and Archie, a pair that had been together since high school and here he was worried that _she_ was a threat. She wondered just how much of Archie’s problems and worries she could never deal with just because she had no patience for Archie’s strange abundance of angst.

He got worried and nervous over things she deemed stupid, especially compared to the problems she had. Being a famous black woman wasn’t easy, especially not when Josie insisted on pushing every boundary she could find for the fun of it. Archie didn’t have to worry about _any_ of that stuff and he subverted expectations _all the time_ with almost no repercussions for it. like his relationship with her and Jughead. Jughead was broken and she was Archie’s side whore all while Archie got to be the stud that had _two_ partners instead of one.

But Archie rarely saw all of that and Jughead was the one with the patience to explain why he was being an idiot. She just didn’t have the time to put that kind of effort into calming Archie down and she wasn’t even sure if she could even if she wanted to. That was all Jughead.

He was far more essential to their relationship than he knew, and she was going to make sure he knew it.

*

Archie had _no idea_ how Jughead felt at all and now he felt like a complete ass. The stuff with Val, he expected it by then, but the beginning of the book before she came into the picture? He had no idea how hurt Jughead was by the media and even by Archie himself even if Jughead knew he didn’t mean it.

_What a waste. It’s a popular thing for people to write about me or my relationship with Archie. This phrase came about when Archie had revealed our relationship more out of annoyance than anything- shout out to Archie for getting annoyed that everyone assumed JJ was a girl instead of him referring to me by my initials. Sometimes I still laugh about it because Archie’s dramatic eyeroll during that interview really does deserve an Oscar._

_But then people asked questions, and then more questions, and eventually it came out that I was asexual. Then came all the resulting headlines declaring that I was a ‘waste’ either because Archie was missing out on a sex life or people deemed me pretty enough to be sexually attractive and therefore I lost my value. It’s worth it to note that Archie has never, ever intentionally made me feel like my asexuality was a problem so none of this was his fault. But it hurt to know that it was possible that Archie, like the media, quite likely thought that because I didn’t experience sexual attraction and had no interest in sex I actually lost all value as a person._

_Ask any person who wrote those articles and they’ll tell you this isn’t what they meant and I’ll believe them. But those of you that experience sexual attraction know what asexuals feel when shit like this happens. I was a ‘waste’, to quote, simply because I had no sexual desire and no desire to engage in sexual activities. There was no thought to all the other things I could do, no thought to what other value I could have to Archie or anyone else, I was simply written off as a whole person because I’m not what they consider normal._

_I don’t think it occurred to them that maybe I am normal, just not by their standards. Everyone has something, after all, that doesn’t fit the norm. It’s just that they don’t usually get dehumanized for it._

*

Jughead hardly expected Val and Archie to all but lunge on him when they got home but he appreciates it nonetheless, especially when they spend the next hour and a half reassuring him that how he felt about himself wasn’t how they felt about him. And that they both hated the media now, or more than usual in Val’s case.

“Thanks guys,” Jughead tells them both, holding them close.

“Your welcome. Now that we’ve got this out of the way can you make those really good pudding things? I’ve been craving them for like six months but I haven’t been home,” Archie says.

Val rolls her eyes, “oh my _god_ Archie, you are obtuse.” Jughead laughs and agrees but agrees to make Archie his pudding things.


End file.
